Today I stood motionless as a kind of silence overcome my world and, if only for a few minutes, I stood watching the world carry on going around me and it made me realise how much of a small part I play; how if my next breath was my last and I ceased to exist no one would mourn, the world would keep spinning as it did before and, after the few days of gossip, I would be become distant memory before becoming forgotten – don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about this – if anything I actually want to encourage it; the less people I pain when passing the better. The less people to mourn the less I have let down by going. Continue reading
Stop. Look. Listen.
These are three instructions that we teach the next generations at young age, to enable them to live. Mainly we use them as instructions to cross a road but they mean so much more and can provide adults, as well as children, vital learning throughout life. Stop, stop destroying your life; stop becoming something you aren’t. Look, look at the effect your choices are having on the people around you; witness a social group you were once apart of exclude you. Listen, listen to the advice others offer to help; improve yourself on feedback given.
If you had asked me a few months ago, a year ago or more I’d have said I was “alright” to know, I went out my way to help people where I could and tried my hardest to not let my personal problems show; I didn’t want people to know that my “perfect life” wasn’t that perfect after all. My pride has always come from helping others where I can and making sure people are able to overcome the hardships in their lives – I volunteer with Time to Change and The Samaritans to help people realise there are people who genuinely care in this world and want to help. I volunteered to ensure that people don’t get judged, to help end the stigma. Continue reading
As you’ll see from my recent tweets, I’ve started doing part time work as a cycle delivery person -surprisingly the pay isn’t too bad and I’m loving the fact I get to work outdoors and get a load more exercise at the same time. One thing I didn’t count on though was the sense of community between riders – and not just for the company you’re working for but competitors too! Today is my third day of delivering food for the hungry citizens of Liverpool and despite working alone, listening to music, for the majority; the thumbs up, passing nods/smiles and general chat while waiting to pass a bus that is taking forever really does make you feel as though you’re apart of a team, working together. Continue reading
You may remember that not that long ago I went through a bit of a downward spiral, I didn’t feel that I was going to be able to snap myself back together and, after a little breakdown at work, it was agreed that I should take week off. To allow myself to heal, calm and find inner peace. Continue reading
This week I’m doing something that I’ve not done before, cycling my way across England. I’m mainly sticking to the cycle paths and I’ve got to admit – I’m seeing a new beauty to the country. On a train you see a wonderful snapshot of the countryside as you whirl past but cycling you see every detail from every blade of grass to every fly that whizzes itself at speed into your face. Continue reading
So it’s no shocker, I have epilepsy; I have seizures. What is shocking is that I think someone has noticed something that I haven’t – I actually, sometimes, want help and despite my constant requests for complete privacy when I have a seizure, I am actually human; I need support, I need assurance and I need to know someone is there for me during a time my brain shuts itself down and my body crashes.
The last few weeks have been a real challenge for me; I’ve been plummeting to the depths of my mind, I visited places I haven’t seen for a long time and I’ve got to admit I was scared – I didn’t see a solution fore-coming and considered possibilities that only make sense when you want the pain, the hurt, the hours of worrying and the fact that you can’t stand the person you’ve become to end. Continue reading
Although I’d never wish depression, or any form of mental health problem, on someone there is something about it that makes the person stronger – that makes you think that you’ve had to battle with your own mind on a daily basis, everything else should be a walk in the park! Continue reading
I’m not going to lie – I can’t be serious half the time and although a wonderful characteristic of mine, I’m sure you’d agree, I believe there is a bigger reason I’m like this.